


dance like two shadows

by brokentombstone



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon up to 4x13 and then we are in wish fulfillment territory, F/M, Post-Episode: s04e13 Praimfaya, bellamy and clarke mourn each other on the ground and on the ark and then reunite, this is an ode to two of my favourite characters in the world and what could have been, you know how this is going to go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26642938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokentombstone/pseuds/brokentombstone
Summary: "And Bellamy. Bellamy. Bellamy.”After the third time repeating it she still couldn’t get the words out. She could barely talk through her tears. Even at her worst point she had never said it on the radio, never out loud. Octavia seemed to know because she gave her hand another squeeze and Miller nodded gravely.“Bellamy, I loved you. I still love you. And I guess I always will. I never got to tell you that."--Or;Clarke thinks she failed Bellamy. Bellamy knows he failed Clarke. Neither of them are ready to let go, but time heals most wounds.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 28
Kudos: 139





	dance like two shadows

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not usually one for long author's notes at the beginning. I like to save them for the end. But this really deserves one. I wrote this out of my own grief. A grief for a show that was the most important thing in the world to me through some of the hardest points in my life. I will mourn these characters and what they meant to me for the rest of my life probably. But this fic. This fic and the writing of it reminded me of what The 100 was to me, and to so many, for a long time. It brought me so much joy, and some tears. 
> 
> So here it is, a farewell to Bellamy and Clarke. A farewell to the show itself. And basically my favourite thing to read about in fics about them, post 4x13 AUs. I've never written for this ship before despite it being so dear to me for so long, so I hope I did them justice. I think I did. And I hope this brings you some sort of peace.

**_heroism is endurance for one moment more_**

**_-george kennan_ **

* * *

The city of Polis hadn’t existed, not for years. Not in the way that Clarke remembered it. But still she kept coming back, kept dragging Madi and herself back to the rubble ruined streets to see if there was anything to do for the bunker. Every few months. She told herself it was the least she could do. 

But part of her was scared, predictably. Fearful that Madi and herself truly were the last two people of the human race, fated to live out their days on a planet nearly irradiated and then die, broken and alone when their bodies couldn’t find the will to keep pushing anymore. And that made her fear leaving Madi alone. The darling little girl who she looked to with some mix of a daughter and some of a sister. She knew it made sense that it was both, but she spent her days toeing the relationship anyways.

On the bad days she couldn’t help but think about how Bellamy would’ve known exactly what advice to give. All those years of practice with Octavia. But mostly, she tries to not let herself think about that, about him. 

In the beginning she had kept herself alive by talking to him, by talking to all of them, all of the time. But in the years intervening she had closed that part of her heart down, limiting herself to her daily check ins. Of course there were slip ups, nights when she couldn’t fall asleep, or woke up in a cold sweat reliving their final day on Becca’s island. She doesn’t know what was worse, the dreams that end with her falling off the radio tower into a fiery pit of radiation or the dreams that end with her running back into the lab to find Bellamy still there, impossibly waiting for her. _Took you long enough, he said with half a smile._ And then she wakes up, cold and alone. 

But she tried, tried to keep it altogether during the day, during her waking hours. She knew Madi thought Clarke’s dependence on the radio was a bit crazy, a bit maniacal, that it keeps her a bit unstable. But maybe Madi saw more than she gives her credit for, maybe Madi saw Clarke with scars and all. Maybe Madi was merely stuck between a desperate desire to meet the friends she’s heard so much about and a fear of what it would mean for her relationship with Clarke if they ever made it back down. 

Today though, today was a Polis day and Madi has been allowed to drive. They had music playing softly from an ancient device (Jasper’s, Clarke knows this, still thinks about him every time certain songs play. Still holds his letter to Monty close to her heart), but when you have the same few hundred songs to get you through eternity even that begins to wear you down after a while. 

Clarke reached for the dial and turned it down all the way when they came over the hill and saw the first view of the city. 

Immediately they could tell that something was different. Madi came to a screeching halt, and without speaking they both got out of the rover and stared down in awe at the city. 

Rubble that had been piled high six months ago was strewn everywhere, she couldn’t tell from here but she thought that maybe even by where the bunker was located… they would have to get closer. Then she realized. 

“The sand storms…” Clarke whispered to herself more than anything. 

Madi’s eyes searched the landscape ahead of them, taking in the changes. 

“You think they could’ve done all this?” Madi asked, unsure. 

But Clarke was already nodding, trying to remember the timeline. About a month ago the desert had been wrecked by the most severe storms they had ever seen, they had been safe in the valley but Clarke didn’t think it was outside of the realm of possibility that they could’ve travelled further in, coming to unbury a city long since sleeping. 

Clarke was already heading back to the rover.

“Come on Madi, we need to see the damage for ourselves,” Clarke said, a hint of urgency evident in her voice. 

Madi complied and hopped back in, revving the engine and shooting them across the city scape that is now more barren than Clarke had ever thought it could be. 

In her chest, her heart had started to thrum steadily. The possibilities ahead of them were for the first time, hopeful. It had been five and a half years, she didn’t know how the bunker was faring when they were meant to only be in there for five. She pushed the images of Cadogan’s failed bunker far from her mind. 

Madi was chattering away, and usually Clarke spent her days devoting her whole focus to the girl but she couldn’t focus on anything she was saying. She hoped Madi would forgive her in the future but if the bunker was salvageable… It made Clarke feel as if something heavy and hard was lodging itself in the back of her throat. 

She could tell, even from a distance, that the tower that had collapsed over the entrance to the bunker was mostly gone and she felt hot tears start to well up in her eyes just as Madi pulled them up to where the rubble was still thickest. This time neither of them moved to jump out of the rover. 

“Clarke…” Madi said and reached a hand for her arm, “I think we could do it this time.”

And Clarke knew she was right. Before, the debris had been so huge, so heavy. What remained now was minimal, hard brute work but manageable. The huge pieces from before that were immovable even with the chain from the rover aren’t even visible in the furthest off areas, they’ve all been flown far and wide. Clarke had seen so much since landing on Earth, but she can’t help it, this beyond all else was a miracle. Something that no amount of work could ever have accomplished on her part. 

Clarke readied herself and drew a deep breath.

“Ready to work Madi?”

* * *

It took the better part of the day. They had arrived early in the morning and it approached evening when they moved the last pieces to reveal the door to the bunker. 

They were covered in sweat and grime. There had been a few pieces that they had pulled away with the rover but most of it was shifting rocks and rubble out of the way as they had slowly and laboriously made progress. 

“We did it!” Madi celebrated with only the verve that a child could, the exhaustion being staved off by sheer excitement. 

Clarke finally cracked a smile. Now she only hoped there were still people on the other side of this door. She’d kept the image out of her mind until now but at last it reared its ugly head. The dreadful moment, the bunker she had discovered with Jaha and Bellamy, the devastation there, and she imagined that for all of them, dying slowly and painfully in a plan gone wrong.

She shivered once but then she walked forward and raised her hand to bang her fist on the metal door, unopenable from their side. 

It felt foolish. Not to mention futile. Her and Madi banged for some ten minutes. It was a battle of mounting excitement and growing dread. Logically Clarke knew that there was every possibility that there was nobody around to hear her, that if nobody was passing by that they could be out here for days. But the sentimental part of her worried that there was simply nobody _left_ to hear it at all. 

Madi had just opened her mouth and had a half formed word on her lips, Clarke was unsure if it was going to be encouragement or a request to stop, when the door started to swing open slowly towards them. 

They both took an automatic half step backwards and Clarke felt her heart was about to beat out of its chest. The door opened fully and it took Clarke a few seconds to comprehend, even though she had spent hours trying to get to this point, her mind was still thinking about how she left these people over five years ago. 

It didn’t matter though, because the person on the other side of the door was dealing with the sudden onslaught of sun beams after five years underground. 

Clarke caught her breath first.

“Octavia,” Clarke’s voice came out in a half laugh, half a choked sob. 

Vaguely she noticed Madi looking between the two women, _Skairipa,_ she had been in those stories of course. But this woman was no hardened warrior, not anymore. 

Clarke froze for one more second before lurching forward to wrap Octavia in her arms and it gave her just enough time to take in the differences in the girl she had known so well. She was older, as to be expected, but she looked younger than Clarke had ever seen her. Some of the lightness that she possessed, before Atom had died and Octavia had learned how hard the ground was going to be for all of them, had returned. Her eyes were bright and shining, her hair long and hanging in loose braids. A few beads decorated them. Her clothes were simple, a far cry from the warrior’s gear she had worn for so long when she had entered the bunker. Just a long sleeved blue shirt and dark cargo pants. 

Despite these visible differences, Clarke felt she noticed some other things too. Octavia was holding herself differently. She was lighter yes but the burdens still weighed on her shoulders, she knew responsibility, understood loss, and cared for her people. She was a leader. It was obvious to Clarke.

Before she could think anymore her body was reacting and she was gripping to Octavia for dear life. The other woman was shocked for a few seconds before returning the embrace just as fiercely. 

“Clarke,” Octavia breathed and Clarke can hear her voice catch, almost in tears, “How? How are you here?” 

Clarke was too shocked to respond so released Octavia and simply beamed at her instead. 

“The sandstorms must have disturbed the rubble and we spent all day digging you out,” Clarke said and gestured to Madi for the first time. 

Octavia gave her an appraising look and then pointedly looked around, seemingly noticing the absence of seven other people she was supposed to have with her. The thought hit Clarke like a spear to the gut.

“Bellamy?” Octavia asked, one hand still on Clarke’s arm and she felt the way her grip tightened. 

Clarke’s eyes must have betrayed her because understanding flashed in Octavia’s and she let her hand drop, a sadness washing over her right away. 

“I’ll explain everything, but let me come see everyone, it’ll be easier if we do it all at once,” Clarke assured her.

Octavia still looked wary, but Clarke saw when she decided to trust her again after all this time and she gave Clarke a nod.

“And who _is_ this?” Octavia asked, looking back to Madi. 

“I’m Madi,” Madi grinned, “You were always my favourite in the stories.”

Octavia’s lip quirked up in a half smile and she raised an eyebrow at Clarke, “Stories?”

Clarke shook her head in embarrassment and glanced at the ground, “Kids need bedtime stories. I told her about the only heroes I knew.”

Octavia considered Clarke for several seconds. 

“Bell always told me stories,” Octavia said simply and then turned away from them both. 

It tugged at Clarke’s chest, at the thing she kept wrapped deeply inside her. 

And then Octavia was walking back to the bunker, beckoning them to follow her. It was only then that Clarke realized she had come alone, no guards, nothing. 

“You’re here alone?” Clarke asked as her and Madi moved to follow along. 

Octavia gave a brief nod as she started to open the inner doors. 

“You’re lucky,” Octavia said, “Gaia happened to be passing by and heard noise coming from outside. She came to find me immediately and I convinced her to let me go alone, but if we don’t get back soon I assume she will be sending a search party soon enough. She can get a little paranoid.”

The words surprised Clarke. Octavia spoke of Gaia like a close friend, someone she trusted fully. It was obvious that things had changed since she had known the two of them. 

It seemed to Clarke that Octavia was taking Clarke and Madi some backwards route because they passed nobody on their way to the big room Octavia finally led them to. 

“Our sleep cycles must be a bit off, the equipment we do have is not keeping time properly I assume,” Octavia said, “Most people are sleeping, for us it is about midnight. But it was clearly only late afternoon outside.”

Clarke didn’t have time to reply before they were being ushered into the room Octavia had brought them to. The moment they entered Gaia stood up in shock at their entrance. 

“Clarke?” Gaia’s voice was barely audible as her eyes flash between the two of them and then linger on Madi, “It’s really you.”

Clarke looked to the ground, her name hadn’t been said with that sort of reverence in many years. She supposed it was normal once upon a time, but now it felt strange.

“We’ll have time for heartfelt reunions later Gaia,” Octavia said and took a seat at the largest chair of the round table, “Go and wake the council members and tell them to come here immediately. Don’t tell them why.”

Gaia nodded, it didn’t seem like an order, more like Octavia had earned respect, that her position was a given and that Gaia was willing to do what she asked without any further questions. 

Just before Gaia had left Octavia called out again, “Wake Niylah as well. She’ll kill me if I don’t have her here for this.”

Clarke was perplexed, again she wasn’t aware the two of them had been that close at all. Gaia left the room. 

“Niylah?” Clarke asked.

And to her astonishment a cherry tinged blush crept across Octavia’s face. Everything slid into place easily for Clarke from there. She didn’t mind, not in the slightest but it could not have ever been something she predicted.

“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward,” Octavia said and she suddenly couldn’t meet Clarke’s eye. 

_Finn is mine._ It was what Octavia had told her years ago. It made her want to laugh out loud now. So much had changed. She just gave a shake of her head, a small smile twisted into place. There would be time to get the full story from Octavia after she came down from the high of seeing everyone again. She looked at Madi and noticed her watching them with great interest. She had never seen the girl so quiet.

Octavia just looked relieved and hastened to change the subject. 

“Let me tell you about our time here while we wait for the others,” Octavia started. 

And Clarke listened. 

She listened to Octavia’s tale of how they had found peace in the bunker, how despite the conditions she had unified their people with the grounder clans. Yes, they had lost people, but their numbers remained strong. It was clear, by the way she talked, that despite the weight of the new responsibilities that she had healed, she had unburdened herself of the things that haunted her before Praimfaya. 

For a few minutes Clarke had forgotten that Madi was even there. That was until she piped up in the middle of Octavia’s story. 

“But what about getting back to the surface? How did you deal with that?” Madi asked. 

And it was a good question, one Clarke thought Octavia had been avoiding. She could tell by the other woman’s shifting eyes that she was unsure of how to answer the question. 

“It was something we were worried about, the hydro farm likely won’t last us much longer. But now we won’t have to worry about that,” Octavia brushed over the hardships they would have faced if Clarke hadn’t been able to get to them and flashed her a bright smile, “So thank you for that. Both of you.”

Clarke watched Madi give Octavia a tentative smile and it made her heart happy, to see one of her closest friends accept Madi so readily, to see them bonding already. 

“It seems you’re a far cry from the girl under the floor,” Clarke mused then.

Octavia seemed poised to say something, a half chuckle escaped her, when the door to the room opened again. 

Though the people on the other side all wore similar clothes, there were still remainders of their old grounder allegiances. Ice Nation scars or Trishanakru tattoos. Remnants of a time past. Based on the numbers, Clarke figured there were delegates from at least each of the old clans, though she couldn’t identify them all. 

On instinct she stood out of respect. But Octavia and Madi both remained seated, Octavia because she was there leader of course and Madi because she knew no different. She gave Clarke an odd look. 

And then the delegates seemed to take her in. 

There were several outbreaks of murmurs as everyone took their seats. Eyes went wide with recognition. Clarke heard their whispers. _Wanheda, Sky Girl,_ even the occasional _Clarke Griffin._ But as if they were following Octavia’s lead nobody commented further, merely stared openly instead. That was until the last person came in. 

“Clark Griffin,” The voice was deeply awed and Clarke turned back to the door to see Indra and Gaia, now returned with her mother, “How?”

Clarke didn’t know what to say and she looked to Octavia for help.

“Clarke has opened the door to the surface for us. We will discuss what that means for us and much more once the rest of the council arrives,” Octavia said simply. 

Indra’s often stern face looked then to Clarke in a sort of amazement and she gave her the barest hint of a smile. It seemed like a great victory, a smile from the fiercest warrior she had ever known. Followed by a nod of acknowledgement and she turned to take her seat, Gaia trailed behind her. 

Before Clarke could retake her own seat though there were a few voices that drifted in from the hallway through the now open door. 

“Who does Octavia think she is hauling us out of bed in the middle of the night?”

“Oh it’ll be something serious I’m sure.”

“It better be, I wasn’t happy about Gaia being the one to wake me up and _then_ realizing Octavia was nowhere to be found.”  
  
Clarke sucked in her breath and her hands started to shake, she thought she knew those voices. The trio emerged into the entrance. 

Seeing Clarke brought all of them to a standstill. 

Miller, Jackson, and Niylah. Three looks of shocked confusion painted all three of their faces as they took her in, someone they had likely thought long dead if their expressions were anything to go by. It was Miller who broke the tableau first. 

“Holy shit,” Miller said and took several long steps across the room to envelope Clarke in his arms. 

It took her a few seconds to respond but then she was collapsing into his arms. She tried desperately not to think about the fact that the only known surviving members of The 100 were all in this room. Herself, Miller, and Octavia. 

Miller let her go as Niylah and Jackson converged on them. 

“How are you here?” Niylah asked, her eyebrows knitted while her eyes were delighted, as she came to embrace Clarke too. 

Clarke could only let out a watery laugh and a shrug, “Sandstorm.”

That only gave her confused looks from the three of them and then Jackson asked her the question she had been trying not to think about.

“Does Abby know?”

Octavia answered for her then, “She should be on her way.”

But before Clarke could think anymore about her mother she heard her name. 

“Clarke?”

The word came out in a whisper but it silenced the room. Clarke’s world seemed to tilt. In the half second it took her to turn back towards the door she knew that this was the before and after. Before the bunker and after, there was a divide in her life now. 

And when she turned, there, standing with her hand clasped to her mouth as if holding in a sob, was her mother. Clarke let out the breath she had taken in when she first heard her name and then she was the one who moved this time, closed the distance between her and her mom in a few short steps. 

She crushed herself to her mom and tried to stop the tears that were threatening to wreak havoc on her body. Her chest heaved with the effort.

“Mom,” Clarke breathed into her mom’s hair and her mom’s arms came to wrap around her as well. 

Clarke couldn’t hold it in anymore and a large cry broke free from her. She felt her mom crying too. Vaguely she was aware of the fact that Kane and Jaha had come in with her, but they were giving the mother and daughter space even though they didn’t have privacy for this reunion. 

“You’re alive,” Abby said into Clarke’s ear, almost in disbelief, “You’re alive!”

“I always have been,” Clarke responded with another watery laugh and then pulled back to look her mom in the eyes. 

Her mom looked as if she were in shock, completely not comprehending what it was that she was seeing. And then Clarke remembered. 

She grabbed her mom’s hand, “Come meet Madi.”

There was a look of confusion that flashed in her eyes but she let herself be pulled by Clarke across the room. And only then did Clarke realize that Madi looked as if she had shrunk ten sizes. The bonding with Octavia was long forgotten in the onslaught of so many new people. But Clarke gave her a smile, encouraged her, and she watched some of the tension leave Madi’s body. 

“Mom, this is Madi,” Clarke said and she saw Abby was looking at her curiously, as if trying to put together a puzzle in her head, “I found her in the wake of Praimfaya. We survived together.”

And then Abby voiced the question that most of them must have been wondering, “But what about space?”

The silence in the room was absolute. 

It was Octavia, predictably, who answered, “Clarke was just going to tell us all that story, we were only waiting for you Abby.”

Clarke looked around the room into everyone’s expectant faces. Finally she settled on Madi’s face, she found her strength there and readied herself to begin. 

* * *

It was closer to morning than night by the time they finished. First she explained to everyone that the surface was accessible now. They had agreed quickly to not wake the bunker, to wait until the morning and brave it all together. It was something everyone deserved to experience as a group after years of being stuck underground. 

And then Clarke had launched into her story. She had glazed over bits, made it not seem so bad. Made the parts about the seven who had gone to space maybe not seem so hopeless. She had made her time before Madi sound more like a detached haze than an everyday struggle for her life. But those who knew her best, Clarke suspected, saw through it. 

It was why, now, after everyone else had filed out, a few had remained. Her mom, of course. Kane and Jaha, Miller and Jackson, and Niylah, who had taken up post beside Octavia. It was just her and Madi with them, as Gaia and Indra said their goodnights and left the rest of them to talk about what was left. 

The fact of the matter was that the people in space, (Or dead, Clarke forced herself to acknowledge that possibility), were sky people. Bellamy, Raven, Monty, Harper, and Murphy. Emori didn’t have people, Murphy was her people and that made her theirs. Echo. Echo was the exception but she had been an Ice Nation spy, she didn’t have family. This was Sky people’s grief and so Sky people remained.

Octavia had stayed silent as Madi and Clarke had told their story, but she had noticed her knuckles turn white at the mention of the radio tower, over Clarke not being sure that the signal had made it. Had noticed the pained expression when she admitted she had never made contact since then. 

Now, with the rest of the council gone, it was eerily quiet. And Clarke couldn’t quite bring herself to break it. She could feel eyes darting between Octavia and herself. She thought Miller nearly spoke up several times. But it was Octavia who did in the end. 

“You think they’re dead then,” Octavia said finally, not meeting Clarke’s eye. 

Clarke noticed how Octavia said _they_ and not _him._ Not the one they both worried about the most. Of course she cared for the others, loved the others. But it was Bellamy, had always been Bellamy, who she would grieve for the most if they were lost. (Who she had already mourned a hundred different ways). It was the same for Octavia. Bellamy had become a ghost between them, one that Octavia seemed to think truly gone. Clarke couldn’t find her voice because what Octavia had said was what she has spent the last six years trying to convince herself otherwise. 

“Octavia…” it was Miller, his voice was a warning, his eyes darting between the two of them. 

Octavia’s eyes found Clarke though, “I don’t blame you. But I need to know. Is it what you think?”

This had been the grit of the Octavia of the past that Clarke hadn’t seen since she had been reunited with her. She could feel the tension radiating off her in waves and she noticed Niylah’s hand reach for Octavia’s thigh. It did nothing for the situation. 

“Clarke doesn’t think they’re dead,” it was Madi this time, she sounded almost offended. 

All the eyes turned to her.

“Clarke radios them every day, even though we don’t get any transmission back, she has never given up hope!” Madi’s voice was earnest in its defense and Clarke loved her for it but it was Madi’s youth, her lack of understanding of what the words would mean to the others that allowed her to speak them so freely. Clarke shut her eyes in embarrassment. 

Nobody spoke for several moments and when Clarke opened her eyes again, it was to looks of only pity. Octavia had gone ghostly white, an instant understanding at Madi’s words now obvious. _Hurt. Wounded. Weak._ Clarke Griffin, the great Wanheda, spoke to seven ghosts on her radio every night before bed because she was broken. Torn apart into pieces after Praimfaya and this was the girl who had come to save them. 

Niylah, Miller and Jackson looked at each other uneasily. She thought she saw the most sympathy on Miller’s face, as if he didn’t want to accept that all their friends had suffocated to death in a hundred year old rocket either. But none of them would meet her eye. 

“We have no reason to think they couldn’t have made it…” Kane started, always one to play devil’s advocate. 

Yet it hurt Clarke to know that he was just placating her. Then as Abby placed a comforting hand on his, thanking him for comforting her daughter, that it was just what she wanted to hear, not something that he truly believed. 

“Marcus…” Jaha said hesitantly, “They were supposed to come back a year ago.” 

Jaha’s words weren’t cruel. They weren’t meant to wound, she couldn’t begrudge him the honesty with which he spoke. But no more was she ready to hear them, not yet. Not so soon after getting the bunker open. (She didn’t let herself realize that if she could have chosen only _one_ miracle, it wouldn’t be this one). 

“I’m quite tired,” Clarke said suddenly, standing up. 

Madi looked to her in alarm, understanding that it wasn’t exhaustion that drove her right now. 

“Of course Clarke,” Niylah replied quickly, “Let me bring you to an empty chamber. We’ll take care of Madi too.”

And before Clarke could think too much about it she was letting Niylah usher her from the room with only one apologetic look back at Madi. 

* * *

“Six more months,” Raven said as she pulled up a seat at the table that night for their dinner. 

Bellamy’s interest piqued instantly. And when he glanced at Raven he couldn’t help but notice the smile she was trying to keep off of her face. 

The rest of them seemed to wait for Bellamy in the wake of Raven’s news. Watched for his reaction. It was the first time that Raven had ever given them a definitive timeline. It was always delay after delay. We had to fix this or find that, or make this work in a way it wasn’t meant to. 

So it would be six and a half years. _Six and a half years_ , Bellamy thought to himself. It felt like a lifetime. It felt like no time at all. 

“You’re sure Reyes?” Bellamy asked finally, taking on the tone of their leader.

The leader he had to be. The leader he didn’t think he could be, not when he’d never had to do it alone before. 

“I’ve run it all twenty times Bellamy,” Raven rolled her eyes, “I wouldn’t give you false hope.”

Her words were light enough but they struck a chord. Bellamy knew Raven wouldn’t dare. Wouldn’t do that to him, to them. Not when all their hopes hung on making it to the ground one day. Not when they kept the peace here with a fragile string. Any of them were bound to shatter at the slightest provocation. 

“About fucking time Reyes, I don’t think I can take much more of Monty’s algae,” Murphy said and he slunk in from the shadows where he seemed to spend most of his time now. 

Raven scowled in his direction and Monty looked offended, he had really tried with the algae. 

Emori pointedly looked away from him. Bellamy knew those two had been fighting for the better part of a year but he suspected that this good news would set them back on a trajectory to fix things. Even now he watched as Emori smiled into her bowl of algae, she would be glad to get back to Earth as much as the rest of them. Though perhaps she had been the most well adjusted of the group the entire time they’d been stuck up here. 

Murphy pulled up a seat but before he could sit down Raven kicked it out from under him and he fell flat on the floor. For a few seconds he sat there, simply appalled. 

Bellamy had to stifle a laugh. 

“Serves you right for insulting Raven and Monty all at once Murphy,” Harper, of all of them, piped up. 

She laughed, not meanly and Bellamy thought if it had been anyone else he would have quipped back but Harper was the kindest of them and even Murphy didn’t have it in him to knock her down a peg. 

“Fine McIntyre, I’ll let it slide this one time,” Murphy said as he stood up and actually found his seat this time. 

They all ate in silence for a few more seconds but Bellamy could feel the electricity in the air. They were all trying not to bombard Raven with questions but it was obvious that they wanted to. _Earth. That’s the dream._

It was Monty who broke first. 

“So what are the logistics then? We’re aiming for the green?”

Raven broke into a huge grin, Bellamy could feel her pride radiating outwards and god if anyone deserved it, it was her.

She started into a long winded explanation which Bellamy sat back and enjoyed, he listened absently. He would get the entire plan from her tomorrow and figure out what he needed to get done. 

But then he realized that as the rest of them were asking Raven question after question there was one voice that was absent. 

Echo sat, barely listening, and picked at her bowl of algae. Bellamy understood something at once. 

“You knew!” Bellamy shot at her accusingly, over the roar of the rest of the discussion. 

Echo narrowed her eyes and Raven turned to them, panic (and guilt he thought) on her features. 

Then, slowly, Echo raised one eyebrow. 

“Perks of keeping the mechanic’s bed warm.”

It was met with a raucous roar of laughter and Bellamy at least had the pleasure of seeing Raven burn bright red. It was a hard thing to do, embarrass Raven that is. Echo seemed adept enough.

Echo and Raven were a relatively new development. They had kept it hidden for the better part of six months but Bellamy thought it must be coming up on a year now. They were all happy for the two of course, but it had been odd. 

Echo had never quite meshed into the group, but she had been useful. Pulled her weight and did everything she could for the team. She taught them all how to fight. Azgeda style. Bellamy thought she had never quite opened up to all of them, apparently he had been wrong. She had been opening up, just not to him. 

He rarely thought about it, but it was a strange truth. He was the odd man out up here. Monty and Harper. Murphy and Emori. Raven and Echo. Bellamy (and Clarke). His mind tacked it on bitterly every time the realization washed over him. They were supposed to be eight. 

The conversation flowed along without him. But he knew the rest of them saw he was lost to them for the moment. Lost in a memory. 

_Hurry._ Clarke’s last word had replayed in Bellamy’s mind for six years. He had hurried, he had made it back. But Clarke. Clarke had died, died in a blaze of glory. Literally. Nothing less than what she deserved. 

No, Bellamy thought. She deserved more than a blaze of glory. Deserved to be more than a storybook hero who sacrificed herself for everyone else. She deserved to grow old, she deserved decades of happiness and she deserved love. All the love the world had to give her. 

Instead she was ashes. But she had died so they could live and Bellamy wouldn’t, _couldn’t,_ let her sacrifice go unanswered. They would make it back to earth. He would see Octavia, live a full life, if not an entirely happy one. He didn’t know if he could though, not with the hole Clarke had left gaping in his chest. 

“Bellamy?” it was Harper’s soft voice that pulled him from his aging regrets. 

“Huh?” he sputtered. 

They all laughed at him. Murphy shook his head. 

“Give a guy a break. I’m sure he was just imagining Octavia’s face when she realizes that her big brother didn’t die and has actually been in algae misery on the ring for six years,” Murphy said and winked at Bellamy. 

Murphy knew that wasn’t it at all, Bellamy was thankful for the cover up though. It was always plain on Bellamy’s face when he was thinking of Clarke. He suspected that the others knew that. They sure knew that every year when the day came up that they shouldn’t even attempt talking to him. 

Bellamy laughed to hide his sorrow and tried to throw himself into the conversation after that. For another thirty minutes they stayed and talked about what it will be like going back down. About the people they cannot wait to see in the bunker. About the lush green patch of earth, the promise it holds for all of them. 

But the whole time, all Bellamy could think, was that Clarke wasn’t coming with them. Clarke never left earth, and she doesn’t get to come back with them. And not for the first time his mind recalled one last loss, one last dagger to the gut. _Abby. Take care of each other_. It had been their promise to her, a promise he failed to uphold. His blood ran cold at the thought of Abby’s face when they returned to the ground. 

Eventually Monty and Harper said they were too tired to keep talking and were heading to bed. Raven claimed she was making her final rounds of checking the equipment for the night and sauntered down the corridor. Murphy and Emori tried to be discreet about obviously heading to the same place. 

Bellamy only realized after it was too late that it was just him and Echo. He had forgiven her in their time together, they’d been up here too long not to, but he never quite knew how to act around her, what to talk about. 

“Clarke would want this for you Bellamy.”

Her words sliced Bellamy’s already fragile heart open. He’d been bleeding out all night and Echo went straight for the kill. But part of him respected her for that. 

It’s not that nobody spoke of Clarke. They did. In roundabout ways. In stories where they didn’t have to say her name. In memories where she was there. When Bellamy had enough bickering and he gave them the look. The look that said: _Clarke didn’t die for this, stop being an ungrateful ass._ It was an unspoken rule, at least around Bellamy, that they didn’t bring her up if they didn’t have to. 

In the beginning they had tried to force him to talk. But he had been so lost in his grief. He woke every night screaming from his nightmares. He never knew which were worse. The ones where he stayed in Becca’s lab, just long enough for Clarke to run back in, her face melting off and screams of agony ripping from her lungs. Or the ones where he was walking around the ring, he turned a corner and caught a glimpse of blonde hair, heard her airy laugh. _There you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere Bellamy._

His cold gasps and the dark space sky was all that greeted him when he woke.

But once he had settled they learned to leave him be, to avoid Clarke talk at all costs. And now Bellamy’s nightmares were quiet. When he woke he was alone and he’d walk to his window, stare at earth and think about a different world, one where they’d been together on the ark or in the bunker. 

Echo had been the exception to these rules though. She always said what she meant and there had been several times where she brought up Clarke. The others, he suspected, spoke of Clarke in hushed tones, the way you would a God, a myth, a legend. As if you spoke their name too loudly they would cease to exist. But when Echo spoke to him about Clarke he spoke true, he owed her at least that much. 

“You hardly knew her Echo,” Bellamy responded more bluntly than he intended. 

Murphy, Raven, Harper, and Monty. They had _known_ Clarke. They had grieved and mourned and loved her, laughed with her when they’d had the chance. They owed so much to her, as much as Bellamy did. And Emori. Well Emori hadn’t known her well. But in the short time she did, Clarke had saved her life three times over. If anyone spoke of Clarke with reverence it was her. Echo hadn’t known Clarke as anyone other than _Wanheda._ A figure on the other side of the war, an enemy to be calculated against. A woman she’d once held a spear at her neck. _Wanheda._ The word was bitter on his tongue. A title she never deserved, Bellamy thought. They had done that together, yet she’d worn the burden alone all the way to her death. 

“I know she loved you,” Echo said and Bellamy nearly choked. 

“She loved you all. She wouldn’t want you wallowing in guilt six years later. We all knew the risks. She died knowing she saved you Bellamy. Let Raven save us now and bring us home. It’s what Clarke wanted for us.”

Echo rose from her chair and walked out of the room. Bellamy sat there, unmoving for several seconds. 

One tear slipped down his cheek. 

* * *

The months passed quickly. 

After so long with just her and Madi, Clarke felt as if everything happened so fast. Her days were filled to the brim. Bustling with activity and more importantly with people. 

Along with the council she led the people of the bunker out into the world again. She helped them move everyone to the livable lush green forest where her and Madi had thrived for all those years. They started to build and rebuild what was left in the valley. They needed to plant food and try to breed animals if possible. It was busy. 

But Clarke’s heart was full too, as full as her days. It was healing, at least as much as she let it. 

She’d been worried about Madi at first. But Madi had grown so much in the last few months alone. She’d learnt things that Clarke never could’ve given her on her own. She saw her making _friends._ It was a dream Clarke worried she never would get to see. And she loved talking with Clarke’s friends too, it made her feel so grown up. Her heroes (some of them at least) had come alive before her very eyes. It hurt a bit though, seeing how Madi didn’t need her as much anymore, seeing her go from being Clarke’s person to being a person to all these other people. 

She was happy though, mostly she was happy. 

And having her mom back. She spent most days at Abby’s side. Getting medical equipment brought over was laborious as they had to handle it with care and then setting up a clinic was an entire other problem. But working side by side with Abby brought her this quiet joy that only a mother could bring. Sometimes she would catch her mom just staring at her, seemingly shocked that she was there with her. 

Tonight though she wasn’t with Abby or Madi. Tonight she had made a commitment and so she headed out into the woods. Nobody would notice. Madi was off with her friends and everyone else was busy. They were finally getting truly settled in the village and there was always work to be done. So Clarke snuck off where she had told them to meet her. 

After about five minutes she came to the clearing. The rover was parked where she had left it. The sky was dark now. A million little stars. And maybe a space station, she thought. _She hoped._

Miller stepped out from behind a tree. He looked shy, looked a bit like the guard’s son who got into a bit too much mischief on the ark. He looked like he wasn’t sure if he belonged there. His eyes kept darting around. 

“Hey,” Clarke called and waved him over. 

He seemed to let out a sigh of relief when he noticed her and looked a bit more at ease after her usual greeting. 

“Do you think she’ll come?” Clarke asked and went to sit down in front of the rover where she had the radio set up. 

Miller walked over and sat beside her. 

“Who knows. I hope she does, I think she needs it too, but you know how Octavia can be,” Miller answered with a shrug. 

“And how’s that Miller?”

Octavia emerged from the treeline and beelined for them, plopped down right between them so they were all shoulder to shoulder. She felt Miller’s laugh vibrating through them. 

“Nothing at all Octavia, nothing at all.”

Clarke felt warm. Suddenly it was all too real. Suddenly she wasn’t sure if she could do this. It would be admitting to herself the truth that she feared she’d known for so long. Over seven years ago one hundred kids had been dropped on the earth in a dropship. Three remained. Only three had survived. Two girls and a boy. And they were right here beside her. She shut her eyes. 

She felt Octavia grip her hand and Miller reached around to grab her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“It’s okay Clarke, we’re here.”

Clarke didn’t open her eyes yet. Octavia and Miller had approached her about it last week. She suspected that her mom was behind it. Maybe helped along by Madi, Kane, and Jaha. She saw the way they all watched her. Had watched her since Madi’s reveal on their first night in the bunker. They’d said they thought it would be good for Clarke to say goodbye. To get closure. (To stop talking to ghosts on the radio every night). And so they’d convinced her. They would come with her. Give one final farewell. And then she would lay the radio to rest. 

They’d given up their night for this. Broken apart from their other halfs. She wondered what they had said to slip away. Knowing Octavia she would have told Niylah the truth. And Niylah would have understood, she was like that. Always knowing what a person needed before they even did. Miller might have told a white lie to Jackson though, not ready to talk about it yet. She hoped Jackson would understand if Miller ever decided to tell him. 

Miller let her shoulder go and she felt him reach for the radio. 

“I’ll go first Clarke. You just talk in here? I guess this is it…”

Clarke opened her eyes. Miller looked unsure. He pushed on the button and the light glowed, static crackled and Clarke’s heart stopped beating. She’d never done this with anyone before, not even Madi. It had always been private. But if anyone needed it it was Miller and Octavia. 

Miller started.

“Hey guys… I’ve never done this before. But it’s Miller, if you still recognize my voice. I just wanted to say hey, or goodbye I guess. Whatever. We miss you all like hell. Even you Murphy cause I know you don’t believe that. Monty, I hope that brain of yours is still working in space and Harper you better be keeping him modest. We don’t want it going to Monty’s head since he’s the one feeding you all, hopefully keeping you watered as well, nobody makes moonshine like you Monty. And Emori, I hope you haven’t killed Murphy yet, we _would_ miss him. But I guess we would forgive you if you had to. Reyes… I don’t know what game you’re playing but get your asses down here if you can alright? It’s dead boring and we could use some of your inventions to make it a bit easier. Echo, I didn’t really know you. But I hope you are enjoying space anyways. Bellamy. Our fearless leader right? The rebel king. We miss you buddy. I hope that wherever you are you get to do whatever the hell you want, you deserve that. I guess that’s it guys. May we–May we meet again.”

Miller’s voice caught at the end and Clarke’s eyes welled with tears. God. She didn’t think she could do this. It was taking everything in her not to up and run away. But Octavia’s hand was still in hers. 

She’d had one condition to the two of them. It could be a goodbye, but she had asked them, voice shaking and quiet, not to talk like they were dead. Just talk like they’re leaving a message. She knew she wouldn’t be able to bear it otherwise. 

To her surprise, Octavia sniffled. Then she grabbed the radio from Miller. 

“My turn,” she grunted. 

“I’ll get right to it. Echo, I don’t really want you to come back. Not at all. But maybe you’ve changed. I know I have. The rest of you, I’m not going to get sappy on you now. But yeah, I miss your faces I guess. Bell. Big brother. I–I don’t know how I’ve done any of this without you. Most days I feel like I can’t. But I do know I wouldn’t have if I didn’t have you all those years. You taught me everything I know and I worry that I didn’t appreciate you enough when I had the chance. I miss you everyday Bell. Come back, please. And safe journeys, on our final voyage to the ground.”

Octavia had started crying half way through, as soon as she started to talk to Bellamy and the tears fell fast and hot now. Clarke gripped her hand hard. Wordlessly Octavia passed the radio to Clarke.

She felt it in her hand as she had a thousand times before. But this time it felt heavy. The weight of the world was in her hand. Her world at least. Her last shred of hope for half her family. For half her heart. Could she bury it out here forever?

She started to speak. 

“Here it goes, one last time.”

Then she pushed the button. She felt Miller and Octavia watch her. 

“Hey guys. I guess we won’t talk for a while now. And I’ve probably said enough embarrassing confessions over the last few years for Murphy to have blackmail material to last several lifetimes. But there’s just one last thing before I go. I–”

Clarke’s voice trembled and she took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t get the tower fixed in time. I’m sorry that… I failed you. I tried. I tried so hard and I just wasn’t fast enough. And I just needed you to know that. Talking to all you, all these years… It kept me going and I owe you so much for that. And Bellamy. Bellamy. Bellamy.”

After the third time repeating it she still couldn’t get the words out. She could barely talk through her tears. Even at her weakest she had never said it on the radio, never out loud. Octavia seemed to know because she gave her hand another squeeze and Miller nodded gravely. 

“Bellamy I loved you. I still love you. And I guess I always will. I never got to tell you that. It seems stupid now, but I think a part of me always did. I guess that’s all. Take care of him for me you guys. I’m trusting you.”

Clarke closed her eyes and let go of the button on the radio for the last time. Her sobs started to subside after a couple of minutes. And in unison the three of them spoke. 

“May we meet again.”

And so Clarke let go the weight she’d been carrying since Praimfaya. Laid it to rest in the ground and hoped that there would be a forgiving God for her one day. 

* * *

Bellamy vibrated. 

It had come, two weeks early even. They were going back to earth. Their checks were done, their belongings packed and their fuel tank filled. 

They all stood in a circle in the mess hall. One final goodbye. 

The months had been busy with preparations. And Bellamy had thrown himself into it with vigour. Echo’s reminder had hummed in his head all along. About doing this for Clarke and living, truly living for her, for what she couldn’t do herself. 

If the others noticed a change in him they kept it to themselves. But he caught them looking at him sometimes, as if they couldn’t quite place what was different. 

He’d stopped living with Clarke’s ghost. He’d started living in her memory. And today. Today he would see Octavia. He didn’t let himself think anything else. It was a day of celebration. And for that, their farewell deserved something special. They’d each poured a small amount of one of the liquor bottles they’d found early on on the ring into a glass. Whiskey Bellamy thought. And so he raised his glass. 

“A toast,” Bellamy announced and the other’s looked at him, amusement in everyone’s face, “To Clarke Griffin.”

Silence rang out, they were speechless. Everyone but Echo looked alarmed at his words. But Bellamy smiled. 

“Clarke died, died a hero. Clarke died so that we could live. So that we could make it back to earth one day and live the life we were meant to live. She wanted this for us more than anyone did. And we honour her today. Her memory lives on in us. She walked the earth as a hero but she never once thought of herself that way. It’s why she was so incredible. Her bravery, her incredible selflessness and devotion to her people. To her family and friends. It set Clarke Griffin apart. To Clarke.”

It was the most he had spoken of her to any of them in all their years up here and he was sure he saw tears in all their eyes. Glassy and wet. 

His own tears leaked out too. 

Murphy came over and hugged him then. 

“Proud of you, Bellamy,” Murphy said into his ear.

And then they were all passing him around. Hugging him and whispering their own words of encouragement and gratitude. Raven’s were the ones that nearly took him out. 

_We did it. Not without her though. She was always with us._

Too soon they are suited up, they all piled into the drop ship that would take them back to ground. This part was for Raven and Emori. Their pilots they were trusting with their lives. 

So Bellamy strapped in. His job in preparations was done. He looked around at everyone’s nervous faces, a reluctant excitement. This was it, the last hurdle. Let us stick the landing. And the he heard the countdown. He felt the vibrations all around him as they powered up and left the docking bay. He closed his eyes.

He spent the trip down with Octavia. He played over and over how she would look, how she would react. Their joy at being reunited. And he didn’t let himself think of facing Abby once. It filled his mind with a million possibilities. Then he was being jostled and before he realized it they were on the ground. _They were on the ground_. It was the only coherent thought he could get out. 

He looked at everyone’s faces. Joy, shock, disbelief. Monty and Harper embraced. Emori unstrapped and threw herself across the narrow space into Murphy’s lap, she wasted no time throwing back their helmets and capturing his lips with her own and the rest of them gave the two quite a heckling. They didn’t even notice. He also watched Echo reach for Raven’s hand, one tight reassuring squeeze. Odd man out, one last time. But he would see his sister soon. He focused on that. 

“You gonna open us up Reyes?”

Raven gave him a toothy grin.  
  
“I think you deserve the honour Bellamy. Keeping us together all those years, stopping us from killing each other. Killing Murphy. You deserve the first look.”

Bellamy couldn’t hide his surprise. It wasn’t something he ever thought about. But all around him they nodded encouragement. And so he stepped onto the ladder. He climbed up and twisted the hatch. He took one final breath. The door opened. He stepped up and out into the daylight. 

* * *

It was a quiet day. The sun was shining. And Clarke expected nothing remarkable. And so she was confused when she heard a great commotion from outside her and Madi’s house. 

Clarke set down the paint brush for the mural she had been working on. It was a memorial painting. “The Spacekru Seven” she was calling it in her head. She had been doing better since her goodbye with Octavia and Miller all those months ago. The painting was therapeutic. It was nearly done too, she only had one left to paint. Bellamy of course. She wasn’t quite ready. She would be though, she’d drawn him enough over the years. But painting him, like this. She wanted it to be perfect. 

She hurried over to her door and threw it wide. She walked outside and took several steps until she was nearly stampeded over by a horse.

Octavia. 

They had found the wild horse a couple months ago. No idea where it had come from. But he was fast and sturdy and Octavia had claimed him as her own. Clarke knew she missed Helios dearly and none of them begrudged her the horse. But she’d never seen Octavia push her new steed that hard. She was nearly flying. She hadn’t even seen Clarke in her haste. 

All around her people were yelling. And Clarke panicked a bit. What was going on?

“Clarke! Clarke did you see?”

It was Madi, running full force towards her. Clarke reached out a protective hand, instinctively protective and wishing she had grabbed her gun from inside. 

“See what Madi?”

Madi’s eyes went wide. 

“The ship Clarke! It came down just a minute ago, over there in the field! Octavia took off right away. You have to go Clarke! A ship, you know what that…”

Madi’s voice was drowned out by the rev of an engine. 

“Clarke! Get in!”

Miller this time. Somehow with the rover. He pushed open the passenger door and before she could think about it she was running around to the side to hop in. Pure adrenaline coursed through her veins. 

“Madi, stay here! Find Abby!”

Madi gave a swift nod and took off running while the rest of the village looked around in confusion, some in fear. 

Clarke slammed the door behind her and Miller floored the gas. 

“Damn Octavia, she’ll beat us on that horse if it’s the last thing she does.”

Clarke swallowed, the sudden adrenaline wearing off as she was forced to sit down. 

“Miller, what was it?”

Miller gripped the steering wheel hard and he didn’t look over at her. 

“I don’t know Clarke. I was standing with Octavia and this great metal thing came catapulting towards the ground. There was some smoke. But it happened so fast. Octavia… Octavia just said _Bell_ and took off running. I went to grab the rover and find you, that’s all I know.”

And Clarke’s vision blurred. She thought she might pass out. She gripped the sides of her seat as hard as she could.

They couldn’t. She couldn’t. If they weren’t and she let herself think they were. And Octavia. Octavia who had been so willing to believe them dead. Clarke’s head continued to spin. She didn’t realize she was gasping for air until Miller grabbed her leg and yelled at her to breathe, never letting the rover slow down. 

Clarke took gasping breaths and finally settled herself down. 

“Clarke. Whatever it is, we’ll be okay. We’ll face it together.”

And that word. Miller doesn’t know. Doesn’t realize that it was _their_ word. Hers and Bellamy’s. Before it was anyone else’s. It’s what she thought of when she thought of him. And she’d only just started to make her peace, to truly let go. Now this. 

She shut her eyes, hard. 

When she opened them again it was because Miller had come to a halting stop. She looked out the window and there was a ship. Unharmed and small, in the middle of the field. She saw Octavia’s horse trotting around. And then. Then she saw them. 

At first they were just people. Indistinct shapes and bodies milling about. Hugging. 

Then she recognized Octavia’s dark hair and the image came into focus. She was hugging another woman, brown skin and hair back in a ponytail. 

_Raven._

Clarke’s heart skipped a beat. They were here. They were really here. Her eyes scanned the rest of the scene quickly. 

Monty and Harper standing to the side, Monty’s hand on Harper’s waist. They looked so happy. Clarke still couldn’t catch her breath. 

Behind Raven and Octavia Clarke recognized Echo. She looked unsure, but she hovered oddly close to Raven, and seemed to be appraising Octavia. 

Then Murphy came into focus, he was frolicking? Yes. That was the word she would use. Frolicking in the flowers and seemingly quite happy about it as Emori watched him and laughed insanely at his antics. Some things never changed.

And then, somehow she had missed him. In all her overwhelming sensations her eyes had passed him over. 

It was Bellamy. 

Just to the right of Octavia and Raven. His smile. It was taking up his whole face, larger than Clarke could ever remember seeing it. And he looked _good._ He looked happy and at peace. And suddenly tears filled her eyes. She didn’t know where she belonged anymore. How she fit in this picture. Who she was to Bellamy. Because to him she was just a girl who had died for him nearly seven years ago. For her he was the torch she had carried since that day, refusing to let the flame burn out. 

He shook his hair and the sun caught the white of his teeth. 

“Clarke, _come on._ ” Miller said as he hopped out of the vehicle. 

She hadn’t realized she had been holding them up. In all honesty she had forgotten that Miller was even there. 

But she didn’t get out. Instead she watched. Watched as they all lit up at Miller’s arrival. As he closed the space between the rover and the group and embraced them each in turn. Easy. Unburdened. Nothing but joy between them because nothing had been left unsaid before the world ended. Just pure happiness at the thought of a reunion. 

But Clarke told herself she was being ridiculous. For seven years she had spoken to them, told them her secrets, her hopes and dreams. Her regrets, many of her regrets. And even though they didn’t know that, they were the most important people in her life. And they were here. They had lived. All at once she comprehends that glorious fact. She didn’t fail. She had saved them. She saved them and they thought she had died doing it. It’s this thought alone that allows her to open the door to the rover and step outside. 

* * *

Bellamy had stepped into the sun and marvelled at their return to earth for all of two minutes before he had been nearly trampled to death by a horse. The rest of them had all made it out of the drop ship and onto solid ground when the commotion happened. 

“Bellamy!”

Octavia screamed and Bellamy recognized her voice at once. He turned just in time to see her leap off her still running horse straight into his arms. 

He didn’t have time to process. He caught her on instinct. They were suspended for one confused second. And then pulled her tight.

“O!” He said and he didn’t know if he really believed it. He thought he might be dreaming. It was beyond his wildest dreams, but he should’ve known his sister would make such a dramatic entrance. 

“What took you so long!” Octavia all but demanded once he let his grip on her loosen a bit. 

Bellamy laughed, tears blurred his vision. And then everyone else converged. He watched, never staying more than a step or two away from her, as she passed between everyone’s arms. He couldn’t follow any thread of their conversation. He could only bask in the glory of his sister. His little sister, all grown up. She looked like he remembered but different.

Not the warrior anymore, but the girl who could spend hours chasing butterflies. A bit hardened, a bit older. But it suited her. She seemed happy. It was all he could ever want. 

She was in Raven’s arms. And Raven was apologizing for the delay, giving her a basic rundown of what happened when Bellamy noticed the rover. 

When had it appeared? He wasn’t sure. There was so much to take in. But the driver side door opened and out stepped Miller. 

The boy, now man, who had once been one of Bellamy’s closest friends on the ground. His jaw dropped. Miller’s face was taken up completely by his smile and he reached Monty first. Hugging him first and then the rest of them all in turn. 

When it was Bellamy’s turn they stared at each other in disbelief for a few seconds. 

“Can hardly believe you survived up there all those years,” Miller laughed and then took Bellamy in for a hug. 

Bellamy’s throat closed up because neither O or Miller had asked about Clarke yet but the question would come soon. It loomed on the horizon when their excitement wore off. 

“We’re just happy to be back Miller. More than you can imagine,” He said and let his friend go. 

Everyone else was talking, chattering excitedly. Bellamy made his way idly to one of their bags by the drop ship. He had a vague idea of forcing Octavia and Miller to try a spoon of the algae they’d brought down with them to garner sympathy for the years of not eating a solid meal. 

“ _Clarke._ ”

It was Raven’s voice. And Bellamy froze. He dropped whatever was in his hand. Because the conversation had come. Someone had asked where she was and this was it. But then Bellamy realized something was off in Raven’s voice. It wasn’t tinged with sadness or a mournful regret. There was reverent awe there, disbelief. And it confused Bellamy, he didn’t understand why. 

But behind him he could hear all the chatter die away. Slowly and then all at once. He thought he could hear them all breathing. Sharp inhales all around. A gasp or two. And then Murphy, a low whistle followed by:

“Holy _shit._ ”

Suddenly Bellamy could feel all their eyes on him. And he stood up, righted himself. And slowly, painfully slowly he turned around. 

It took him a few moments. Their eyes were on him but they all kept flickering off towards the rover. He didn’t look there at first. But then he turned his head. 

And his eyes found hers. 

For one second his brain didn’t understand. He blinked several times. He thought his mouth might be open. Every nerve in his body was shooting off, rapid fire. 

Because there, not five feet from the rover. Stood Clarke Griffin. 

And Bellamy swore, he swore he was dreaming. She looked like an angel. Something made by his worst nightmares to torment him in his waking hours. A vision he’d never be able to tear from his mind. (Not that he wanted to). But he felt that burn in his chest he associated with his dreams of her.

She was ethereal. She glowed, literally. Her hair was shorter than the last time he had seen her. It fell to her shoulders in soft waves. She wore a long sleeve shirt, plain gray with buttons halfway down and a battered pair of jeans. She was perfect. She was alive. Unharmed. Bellamy had to remind himself to breathe.

He still wasn’t sure what he was seeing was true. Nobody else in the clearing had moved. They were suspended in this moment between Bellamy and Clarke. Nobody dared to react until one of them did. And so Bellamy forced himself to speak. 

“Clarke…” 

His voice was barely a croak, it was uncertain. He was terrified to break the spell between them now, it seemed like some unknown magic filled the air. But his voice seemed to release something in them both because, as if they had rehearsed it for years, they both vaulted towards the other. 

They met somewhere in the middle. A tangle of limbs as his arms wrapped around her and she glued herself to his chest, breathed him in as if he was about to disappear. 

They were both crying. Bellamy thought, as if far away, that they were both in shock. Clarke Griffin was in his arms. He was holding her. 

“How? Clarke, how?” Bellamy got out between his sobs, he spoke into her hair and she looked up at him. 

“You thought I could be taken out so easily? Come on Bellamy, you should know better,” Clarke teased him between her own sobs, a smile broke out on her soaked face, and suddenly it fell into place.

Clarke was _alive._ She was here in his arms. Warm. And with a beating heart. They were both still teary. But he looked down at her, she locked eyes with him, unwilling to look away. And he thought one last coherent thought before he brought his lips to hers.

Seven years is a hell of a long time to wait for a kiss. 

But then he was kissing Clarke Griffin and the rest of the world seemed to fade away. He pulled her closer, willing their bodies to become one. The kiss was passionate, slow and soft but with a vigorous heat that had him fisting her shirt and her twisting hands into his hair. 

Ten minutes ago he’d thought the woman in his arms was dead. He’d been imagining telling her mother how he failed her and her daughter, how he’d let Clarke Griffin die. And now he was kissing her. He lost himself in that thought, in her lips.

Several days could have passed when they broke apart, he wasn’t sure. 

But then he heard the whoops and hollers in the back. The crude remarks from Murphy and the _about time_ from Octavia. He didn’t look at them though. He could only see Clarke. 

“You came back,” Clarke said, unable to keep from smiling, even through her tears, “All the way to the ring and back.” 

Bellamy grinned. 

“And you survived the end of the world.”

Clarke rested her head on his chest and he felt his world right itself after seven years awry. It was as if everything came into blaring focus. A blind man seeing for the first time, not realizing what he had missed. Maybe this was where his life began. The rest of it was just practice for when he got to finally love Clarke Griffin. 

“It seems we have a lot of catching up to do,” Clarke sighed. 

Bellamy swayed on the spot with her, it almost felt like dancing.

“I think we have time.”

* * *

_**soulmates always find their way back to each other** _

_**-anonymous** _

**Author's Note:**

> I just need to word vomit here so here we go. 
> 
> I started watching The 100 before season 2 finished airing. And I did not expect Bellarke. I started it because I had heard about Lexa. I was ready for Clexa. But then I watched season 1 in one night and I was already deep in my love for Bellarke. By the time Lexa showed up I was a goner for them but I never hated Lexa. Between the hiatus of season 2 and 3 I watched the first two seasons 4 times. I made everyone in my life watch this show. It was...everything. I was there through the utter drama of season 3, the ship wars and the vitriol. But all through it I was happy. This was a show I loved, characters I loved watching. 
> 
> Bellamy Blake was the hero I wanted in my own life, the fast friend quick to stand up for what he believed was right but who wouldn't be afraid to mess up. Who could always come back better for his past. 
> 
> Clarke Griffin helped me come to terms and accept my own bisexuality in a way I hadn't been able to voice before this show. For that I am forever grateful. I grieved when Lexa died but I genuinely feared the show getting cancelled. The 100, like I said was everything to me. It was there when I had nothing else. 
> 
> Season 3 and 4 Bellarke. I could say so much, but they were nothing short of perfection. Their arc of 1-4, I never tire of it, I can rewatch it a million times and still fall in love with them every time. After the season 4 finale I could feel them becoming canon in my bones. It was probably my happiest time in the fandom. 
> 
> Season 5 came and honestly, I was more pleased than most. I didn't think it was on par with the rest of the seasons in many ways but I enjoyed it. 5x03 gave me chills. The angst was everything I dreamed. I cried when Monty and Harper died, just as I did when Jasper did. Our numbers of the 100 dwindled. 
> 
> And Season 6... Season 6 gave me a breath of fresh air. I truly enjoyed it. Josephine and Gabriel and Sanctum, it sucked me in. And Bellamy and Clarke, I still believed they would get there in the end. 
> 
> Before season 7 began I rewatched seasons 1-6 in anticipation and I actually truly believed season 7 would be better than anything we had seen. I have not seen any episodes of season 7. I have read enough and seen enough clips to know the gist of what happens and I just...cannot subject myself to that or watch my favourite characters be assassinated out of spite and pure petty behaviour. I refuse. So this is where I remain. We are less than a week out of the series finale of what was once my favourite show and my brain makes me write this. I guess I thought I was ignoring the season and the mess that it was but a part of me needed to process my feelings and so this fic was born. 
> 
> I just love Bellamy and Clarke so I won't say much more. But they will always, always, be those characters for me. I will remain in a world where the series ended after season 6, or better yet, after season 4. The perfect, tragic, yet hopeful ending for our two star crossed lovers. Our princess and rebel king. Our beautiful Bellamy and Clarke who complete each other, together, not apart and are better for it. 
> 
> I don't know if I'll write anything for them ever again, I don't know if I can. But my soul rests a little easier knowing I created something I love for the characters who gave me so much. 
> 
> Feel free to vent in the comments, I am down to drown our sorrows.
> 
> Much love to my fellow Bellarkes and may we meet again, somewhere with a bit of a brighter future where our stories don't have to look so bleak. Maybe in fields of gold.


End file.
